Still Suspended In Thin Air
As soon as I was assigned to that seat in the classroom, everything else happened. We had so many moments I cannot almost remember.
Anyway, I didn’t want to like him, but he was just so charming and it was something I cannot withstand.
Those talks we had on the car ride, he plays music that sounded kind of like what I never almost listen, but I still tolerate. And as he sang with it, I wish I had something better to do for him. I wish I had told him that I loved how his words could describe us.
When he got the nerve to ask me out on a date, instead of having lunch or dinner like the usual, we drove on the highway and he brought me to a place I’ve never been to before. It was at midnight when every store is already closed with nothing but lamp posts and the cold wind around.
Every after we’re done being with our friends, we would just look for a quiet space and park the car. We would just make out, both close our eyes and feel the warmth that spreads across our bodies as we hold each other close.
These moments, seeing them through our eyes half closed, are priceless. And everytime I remember them, all I really want is to hold you tighter, breathe you in, and let my hand slide from your hair to you neck, and pull you closer to me. And after you pull away, I stare at your eyes and we gaze at each other, and you do that grin I can never resist.
I have no idea what’s going on, or what I’m supposed to feel. I can never admit to myself that I may have really fallen for you because I’m scared. So I hold back and stop whenever I feel a slight pinch in my heart.
And also, what’s your deal? I made you stop, because I don’t want to give you false hopes or anything. But you said you were happy. You were happy with this, with everything just rumpled around the floor. You could have had what most wanted, freedom. But, instead you made me fall head over heels, all over again.
Now, it just confuses me a lot. This may not be the most rightful thing to do, but I will always be happy when I’m with you. You overwhelm me so much even though we are suspended in the thin air.
Now, what do we do next?
We’ll do it all, everything on our own..
You have an album of the Snow Patrol and you started playing it on your speakers.
I was laying on your bed. A bed with black frames, with white sheets and soft pillows. You laid down beside me as I buried my head into your chest. You reached for the side of my ear, whisper against my hair, then you kissed my forehead.
Chasing Cars started playing as you turned your head to face me. I did the same. We did nothing but stare at each other eyes as if the words coming out from the speakers were starting to engulf in our own bodies. As if our wrapped arms made us feel like we were in a sea of faces, but didn’t mind anyone else. As if we were in a crowded room, dancing through a silent song.
I was staring at your face for minutes, remembering every detail, from the shape of your eyebrows to how soft your skin is. I was overwhelmed about how engrossed we are with each other, without knowing why without words, we still felt complete. There was no conversation, but rather a repeated exchange of those three most important words.
That moment, of not saying or hearing anything made me realize that you will always have a place in my life. We’ve been through a lot from the roughest times to our seventh heavens. You’re the one I come running to when I need someone to listen to me and you try to be patient when my girl hormones take over. And you take care of me every single time. That moment, I had no idea why I left you in the first place. That moment, I felt like I was taking advantage of something special, something I should be thankful for.
I have no idea what’s making me scared to get back to who we were but for some reason, I just do. Everyone wanted to be loved the way you do to me and this fact made everything I do painstaking. I’m too scared, frightened to my own wits.
I didn’t want to think about it so I just closed my eyes and savored the moment.
Let’s waste time chasing cars around our heads..
And after the song was done, you smiled and just wrapped your arms around me, like a tower, making me feel safe. You gazed at me, and for a long moment our eyes made contact, then you kissed me.
I knew it was everything I ever wanted.
Would you lie with me, and just forget the world?
