DETOURING
I didn’t ruined my own life. I just took a detour.
Maybe one thing I’v learned lately is that people tend to get so emotionally caught up in the feelings that they are experiencing at the present time that they tend to fail to look at the big picture. I know it happens to everybody. It’s okay to screw up sometimes, right? Everybody screw up. The only thing you can do is to turn it around, give yourself a break, and love who you are.
Things have been tough lately. As in… really tough. It’s as if things have started pouring out all at once and sometimes I think I can’t handle it anymore. Sometimes I feel like I’m just kidding myself when I tell to myself that I can do it. When I think that God have given me these things because he knows I can handle it, it just feels like becoming an excuse. Because sometimes, deep inside, I know I really can’t.
Seriously speaking, the past few weeks have been one of the toughest weeks ever. I got so many issues and I swear I tried not thinking about it for a while, but of course, we still can’t run away from them. We can’t escape from it, it’s just either we find a solution for it or just completely forget about it.. which I can’t do. I believe that I’m too weak to handle things like this, and everyone knows I’m prone into giving up. It’s really tiring, you know. When I always try to look for escape, I always go for the wrong things that just makes everything worse.
Hay, I just can’t understand a lot of things right now. There has been so much pressure and I’m not pretty sure I have the capacity to handle. There are people who say they trust you, but when they see something they dislike, they will over think things without knowing the real details. I got pressured because of their own paranoias, but I know I can’t blame them. Humans are like that, I sometimes over think things too. See you know, that’s the problem. People just see what they want to see. No matter how brief your explanation is, they will not believe you because they only believe what they want to believe.
It would be too personal if I really type out what I feel considering everybody in my contacts can see this. This is only what I can leave with you, guys. Some I’ll just leave on my own little diary. But, really. Despite everything, I still believe that things will be better. Wow, in spite of the things that’s been happening to me I wonder where I get the strength to believe that everything is going to be okay. I just hate the fact that everything just came pouring out all at the same time. It sucks.
Anyway, though the pressure is still going on, let’s just hope for a better ending. Well, if ever this ends?
